I wake up every morning at 6:10 a.m. I don’t hit snooze but instead, groan and blindly reach to turn it off. Blinking I lay in bed for a few moments, allowing myself to wake up and think of the day ahead. It calms my mind to get up that early, knowing that I have time to eat, check my grades, get ready for school, and do any last-minute homework that I forgot about. Normally, my parents are still asleep by the time I finish breakfast at 6:50, so I quietly sneak up the stairs. I set an alarm about ten minutes before classes start; I need to make good impressions on my teachers.

I log onto my first class and let my camera stay on. I’m the only student who shows their face in class, again. As I take notes I continuously check the timer I keep to see how long I have been in class. I love learning, I truly do, but for the most part, I find it harder to connect in classes without a physical anchor. My next two classes almost give me a sense of déjà vu, always the exact same.

By the time lunch rolls around I am dead tired. I go into our computer room to say hello to my mother for the first time before leisurely making my way back down the stairs. I decide on a food item before scrolling on my phone scouring to find a part of my old life hidden away. I eat as I watch T.V. trying to relax before diving into the digital homework I must finish.

I sit there anywhere from two to three hours, my hands cramping and my eyes sore. If on the off chance I have a seventh period, I rush into my room and open up my laptop logging on for another hour of class. I love my friends, but nothing can take away from the pain that I feel being locked away inside my home.

My seventh class ends at 4 p.m. and I am already ready to eat dinner. My eating schedule is completely lucky. I poke my head into the garage to greet my dad as my food heats up. Again I try to relax for a bit before going right back to homework. I study my monologues as well as read an hour a day for Honors Language Arts while I contemplate on my high school life.

I am a freshman. I wanted to experiment and have a ‘normal’ high school experience, even if just for my first year. What even is a ‘normal’ high school experience anymore? I don’t get to experience any clubs, dances, or sports that I would have if we are on campus. I barely even have any social interaction, my friends and I growing more distant every day that passes. I squeal in excitement if my cat even looks at me.

I worry for what second semester may bring into my life. The hybrid schedule will make my brain hyperactive and I fear I will forget more than I already do. Times drags by antagonizing slow in some moments while it flashes by in others. With shorter classes, I fear I may not learn everything I need to in order to excel in college. And yes I do worry about college.

I empathize with the seniors whom I share classes with. I see how stressed out they are with both college applications and school work along with their jobs. I can’t say I blame them. I would be that stressed too if I were in their shoes. I look forward however and I don’t want to imagine myself in their shoes. I don’t want to go through high school without any milestones crossed and without any connections to my classmates, my teachers, and the subjects I am learning.

By the time I lay in bed at a time of 10 p.m. or later my life won’t shut off. Did I say anything wrong in my lesson? Do I fully understand our lessons? Did I turn in all of my assignments? My mind flashes a mile a minute and I can’t shut it up. So I lay in bed waiting for my exhaustion to take over. Then it is rinse and repeat.

I do not wish to blame anyone for anything bad that happens within my school life. I only wish to depict my day-to-day activities and hope that it is relatable to other students who are also going through the struggles an online student might face. As High School Musical would say, “We’re all in this together.” So let’s put that saying to good use and help each other during these unknown times.