Dear my fellow “ByeLinguals” –

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t cognizant of the prominent language barrier between my classmates and me. My broken English was often the catalyst for an unceasing stream of racist remarks towards my culture. As a daughter of first-generation immigrants, I grew up in a household with parents who could not speak English. The melody of this second language flew over my head whereas they seemed to dance along the tongues of native speakers. Eventually, I became proficient in English after countless hours of tears and additional effort placed into what seemed to come so easily to my classmates.

Nearly ten years later, the entire opposite is now true. English is my favorite subject and it is the language that I am comfortable with, as opposed to Korean. Over the course of my lifetime, bits and pieces of words and grammar rules slowly broke away, unnoticed, until I was left with what I have today: I understand all that is being spoken, but I have a greater difficulty vocalizing all I want to express. I am able to communicate by stammering through my words with a clumsy, awkward type of repressed fluency.

There is this uncomfortable middle ground for people like me who are not thoroughly one culture but have also not managed to assimilate completely into the American culture either. We are neither one nor the other.

The most difficult aspect may be the rush of deep shame that threatens to swallow you whole when the barrier between you and your parents, family members, or any person who is the same ethnicity as you, becomes glaringly evident during attempts to converse that end unsuccessfully. Whether you are unable to fully grasp the message behind their words, or find yourself unable to say what you want to tell them, that feeling is one that stays with you and refuses to leave your psyche for a prolonged period of time after encounters such as those.

In the midst of those feelings of incompetence and sadness, it is extremely important to not lose sight of who we are and to not compare ourselves to anybody other than ourselves. One language may be slightly less proficient, but that should just serve as a reminder of the fact that you can speak multiple languages, a skill that many seek their entire lives and still fail to obtain. You are immersed in two cultures and see the beauty in depth for the pair.  You have been shaped by more than one point of view. You have the honor of constantly being around different cultures and experiencing the warmth of both.

There are a myriad of kids, like me, who are stuck between two different cultures and have felt like they did not belong when in reality, we had the privilege in being in two separate and beautiful spheres. One does not invalidate the other and together, they collide to form the sum of who we are as people. We are neither one nor the other; we are both, and we are part of the diversity that makes humanity so breathtakingly gorgeous. Embrace yourself and the world will follow along.