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Santiago High School's Student News Site

Shark Attack

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You’re Not in a Situationship You’re Getting Played

Top 10 Dating Mistakes Teenagers Make
Photograph from Decider

Do you think you’re in a situationship? Wrong. You’re getting led on, and you don’t even know it; Maybe you do, but you just don’t care. 

A situationship is a modern-day version of dating, with no exclusivity or idea that it will lead to a committed relationship. It’s not supposed to lead anywhere, even though one party out of the two wants it to. You’re just settling to keep the person around, which isn’t fair to either person. One thinks it’s okay for “things to be the same,” but the other hopes and prays for things to progress soon. So, what are ten common teenage dating mistakes that everyone has made?

1. You’re not in a situationship

The entire concept of a situationship for modern-day dating has to be the dumbest thing we collectively came up with just to keep the other person around when they don’t want something serious. It’s not a situationship if you continuously yearn for the other person to see you how you see them. Just because you want to keep that person around doesn’t mean they’re actively trying to keep you. Trust me when I say that a person will make it known if they want you, and being in a situationship isn’t them trying to be with you; it’s only out of convenience for them. It’s not a situationship; it’s a fear of commitment. 

500 Days of Summer: Marc Webb, Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber look back
Summer and Tom from 500 Days of Summer is an example of a situationship

2. Not being yourself from the very beginning

So many young girls and guys tend to hide their true selves instead of being unapologetically themselves. It’s essential to show your true colors because if they don’t like who you are from the beginning, they will never like you, even if you gradually show who you are. It will never work out if you feel you have to hide yourself from the person you are trying to pursue actively. Being put in that situation will only harm you and even the other person because they thought you were someone you aren’t.

3. Not being true to your intentions

I’ve seen countless times when one party lies about wanting to be casual just to keep the other person around or says they want something serious just because they think it’s easier than saying they want something casual. No one should be ashamed whether they are looking for something more severe or laid-back, but not being true to your intentions can have adverse outcomes, like someone getting led on or you leading someone else on. It’s not a good look for either party. 

Greta Gerwig's Little Women doesn't pretend its marriages are romantic - Vox
Laurie and Amy from Little Women and not being true to your intentions

4. Trying to change someone

You shouldn’t feel the need to change someone else to fit your checklist or change yourself to fit into their set criteria. The moment you find yourself actively trying to change someone else because you think that’s better, that’s the moment you should leave. Your person will come to you and will come already perfect in your eyes. As soon as you find yourself changing yourself for someone else, that’s when the identity crisis hits. Get to know yourself before you get to know somebody else; that way, it’ll be harder for you to change yourself for that person. 

5. Justifying red flags

Why would you want to be with someone where you must constantly justify their actions? Why do you keep pursuing that person and situation if something doesn’t feel right? Just because you’re afraid to be alone does not mean you should have to justify someone else’s actions constantly. Not only does it make you look like a fool, but you’re also lowering your standards. Standards should never be reduced just because they’re tall or pretty. 

6. Expecting too much too soon

If you guys barely started going out on dates, why expect them to be at your beck and call? It’s fair to have standards, but expecting too much too soon isn’t good either. This person is not your boyfriend or girlfriend yet; going out on dates doesn’t signify anything except for getting to know one another. Putting too much pressure on a situation can ruin a good thing before it even starts. Having high expectations isn’t always a good thing. 

7. “Things are just complicated”

I’ve told this lie far too many times to my friends who were looking out for me. Things aren’t complicated; they’re just complicated for you because you are actively looking for signs to see if they care or if they’ll move forward. A relationship isn’t easy, but it shouldn’t be complicated when you start questioning yourself and your self-worth. 

8. Forcing something to happen

Things will happen on their own if they are meant to happen. Maybe it’s just me, but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and if things haven’t happened yet or won’t ever happen, everything will play its course. It would be best if you didn’t force yourself to feel a connection with someone or force them to notice you. Everything will happen if it’s meant to be, is my philosophy. 

9. Being accountable

Holding yourself accountable and the other person can make a relationship. If you continuously have to hide how you feel about someone else’s actions, it won’t work, and everything will be built up in the long run. If you cannot hold yourself accountable for things you do in the relationship, you aren’t ready for one; it goes both ways. 

10. Lowering your standards

Feeling the need to lower your standards to be with someone only hurts you in the end; it doesn’t hurt them. Feeling the need to constantly justify how they act by lowering your standards only hinders your self-worth and shouldn’t be the case in any relationship. 

Although these are only ten common dating mistakes I have seen and experienced, we are still so young, and experimenting with love is great because you get to know yourself and the type of person you want to be with. However, making these common mistakes can jeopardize your self-worth and how you view yourself, which is not good whatsoever.

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About the Contributor
Tina Ngo, Editor in Chief and Publicist
Tina Ngo (12) is a current Senior at Santiago High School that shows a great interest in reading and her favorite subjects are language arts and science. She wants to further her education in college and pursue a major in Journalism. Reading has always been a big part of her life because it guided her into another dimension, a different reality. Partaking in interest in volunteering at hospitals and helping others has led her to always engage in activities and step outside of her comfort zone. In the future, Tina hopes to be a journalist working for some major newspaper line while also being an author traveling the world.  You can contact her through her email: [email protected]  
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