A Letter To My Freshman Self

A+Letter+To+My+Freshman+Self

Jocelynn Veliz, OP/ED

I would like to start my letter to you off with this statement, I’m proud of you. I know going into high school, you’re thinking about how hard the classes are going to be, how you’re going to make new friends, how you’re going to be perceived, etc. But you’ll soon realize that it is a matter of adjustment. I’m sorry that you thought you had to change yourself and your personality to try to fit in with others, some people just are not your scene, and that’s okay. And I’m sorry that I tore ourselves apart because of insecurities, you didn’t deserve it.

Although you are always scared to speak first to people, you are always the one to do it, and I thank you for that because if you had not talked to the old friend from middle school that was next to you in Honors Language Arts, you probably would not have our platonic soulmate by your side now. You met so many new people and stayed close to our main ones as well, but I wish you knew that it was not weird to say hi to someone you’ve talked to before if you saw them around the school. I think we lost a lot of potential friendships that way. I had thought the quietness we developed after middle school was a phase if I’m going, to be honest, but it ended up sticking with us all 4 years. 

And in comes sophomore year, the year that changed your life forever. Midway through sophomore year, we entered the COVID-19 pandemic. We didn’t go to school for 5 months. But we had a blast in our old room (yes we changed rooms). We stayed up till 8 in the morning sometimes, we started our addiction to TikTok, you spent hours and hours talking to friends, and hours hanging out with Mom and Abuelita. I think if there is any advice to say to you during this period, I truly don’t think there is. Just make sure to 

Junior year was slight in the beginning, we were getting the best grades we have gotten and you understood everything in each class. At the beginning of the school year, you met this boy through our friends. If I could go back now, I would probably slap you for starting to romantically like him but we learned many lessons. A month or so after, Abuelita passed away. This is when our life was changed forever. You heard Mom scream on the phone and you knew. The pain won’t get easier, but it won’t be as constant as it was for the first 2 to 3 months. At this point, you entered our 7-month spiral where you were filled with nothing but sadness but felt numb at the same time. I believe that this was our tower moment before we re-birthed our way of thinking. Spirituality first made its way into our life at the end of this spiral and it is one of the things that got us out of it. The other is the ability to be alone and enjoy it, shocking I know. Being alone is the last thing you want to be, but when the world is quiet all you have is yourself. 

I will leave senior for reflection to our freshman college self, but those were the main things I liked to say to you. We finished high school strong despite our mental struggles. You know that you did your best. Now you’re fulfilling your goal of wanting to leave Corona, moving 6 hours away to Sacramento State. And I couldn’t be more proud of you.

 

Congratulations high school graduate of 2022.