Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Has it always been this way? Or is it just this new generation that views it this way? You’re probably asking the question, “Where did this come from?” The recent Vogue article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” is the source of the bold statement. However, before addressing the article itself, the statement has already been in effect, and it is not surprising that it is becoming a trend among this generation.
The article “Teens Are Foregoing a Classic Rite of Passage” notes that the percentage of teenagers in romantic relationships has decreased. A poll from the Survey Center on American Life states that “ 56 percent of Gen Z adults said they’d been in a romantic relationship at any point in their teen years, compared with 76 percent of Gen X and 78 percent of Baby Boomers.” Furthermore, the General Social Survey conducted a long-running poll of approximately 3,000 Americans ages 18 to 34. It proclaims results from 2021 where 54 percent of individuals answered they do not have a “steady” partner, while in 2004, only 33 percent said the same. Truly, what could be the reasoning for this decline in relationships among Generation Z?
This is where Vogue’s article falls into play, it mentions a term “Boyfriend Land” where a woman’s online presence is centered around their partners, which is usually not reversed with men. It mentions the recent reversal of this so-called boyfriend land as a shift in how relationships are showcased online, set through a set of strategies considered soft launches. Soft launching your partner is when an individual posts subtle hints or signs that they are seeing someone, without fully revealing who it is. This can be seen through subtle tactics of posting “a hand on a steering wheel, clinking glasses at dinner, or the back of someone’s head”. Before this, it was the norm to hard-launch a partner, revealing them on social media with a full-blown announcement about who they were dating or involved with.
In the past, relationships used to be the ultimate goal, where the reward was keeping the relationship. Women were praised for their ability to find and keep a man. The ability to be in one puts you at a certain social status, while those who choose to be single or were simply single without a choice, which of these could be the reason for the decrease in teenagers being in relationships? Is this social standard being erased? To answer this question, a simple answer is yes; the youth are choosing to be in relationships, not the other way around. However, are they choosing to opt out of relationships to remove the stigma of being single? Or are women realizing flaunting a boyfriend isn’t a necessity? The article refers to this as heterofatalism, where “women don’t want to be seen as being all about their man, but they also want the clout that comes with being partnered”.
In recent years, social media has boasted women being single, as seen in the recent I Hate My Boyfriend trend on TikTok. This is when girls or women openly admitted or flat-out expressed their annoyance or hatred toward their boyfriends by wishing they would break up or by commenting that they want to break up or want their boyfriends to break up with them. This trend has risen in popularity among Generation Z. However, it’s important to ask if Gen Z is just going through a wave of independence from relationships. Newsweek quotes, “Marriage and relationships were once seen as economic necessities. Today, Gen Z is choosing independence, self-care, and financial security over outdated expectations. They’re rejecting the idea that a traditional relationship is the default path to happiness.”’ In reality, this independence rejects anything centered around relationships. As previously noted from the Vogue article,” Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” This new rejection of relationships in this article, specifically the rejection of boyfriends, is becoming very common among this generation. 
With personal insight, I would note that the catalyst of the decline in wanting boyfriends, being, or making it known you are in a relationship is sparked by the hassle relationships have become now. This generation has emerged a new phrase, “situationships”, described by Courage as, “[…]anything from a poorly defined friends-with-benefits arrangement to an ongoing, unlabeled flirtation to a long-distance texting thing that isn’t quite romantic.” It adds another confusing step to dating that most teenagers don’t want to deal with, that prolongs a relationship from fully forming.
